Resources.

3 Keys to Happiness in Daily Life

Small, repeatable shifts in attention that research consistently links to a steadier baseline mood, and how to start with just one.

Happiness gets talked about like a destination, something waiting on the other side of the promotion, the move, the relationship. In practice it behaves much more like fitness. It responds to small things done regularly, and it fades when those things stop.

1. Name what actually went well

The brain holds onto threat more readily than it holds onto safety. That's useful for survival and unhelpful for mood. At the end of the day, name three specific things that went well. Not "work was fine," but "the meeting I dreaded was over in ten minutes."

Specificity is what does the work. Vague gratitude slides off; detail sticks.

2. Protect one small ritual

Not an hour of self-care. Ten minutes that belong to you and nobody else: coffee before the house wakes up, a walk without your phone, the same song on the drive home.

3. Contact one person properly

Connection is the strongest single predictor of wellbeing in the research, and it's the first thing to go when we're low. One real message a day. Not a like. An actual sentence to an actual person.

Start with one. Three at once is a resolution, and resolutions collapse. One, done for two weeks, is a change.

Written by Michelle Directo, RP · Book a consultation

What Self-Compassion Actually Looks Like

Research shows people who practise self-compassion are more resilient and better equipped to heal painful memories. Here's what the practice involves.

Self-compassion is one of the most misunderstood ideas in mental health. People hear it and picture letting themselves off the hook. In the research it's closer to the opposite. The people who score highest on self-compassion are more likely to take responsibility, not less.

Why the harsh voice doesn't work

Most people running a brutal inner critic believe it's what keeps them functioning. The evidence points the other way. Self-criticism activates the threat system, and a brain under threat narrows. It gets worse at problem solving, not better.

The three parts

• Kindness instead of judgment. Speaking to yourself the way you'd speak to someone you cared about in the same situation
• Common humanity. Recognising that struggling is something humans do, not evidence that you're uniquely failing
• Mindfulness. Noticing the pain without either suppressing it or drowning in it

A place to start

Next time you catch the critical voice, try one question: what would I say to a friend in this exact position?

Most people can answer that instantly and generously, and are startled by the gap between that answer and what they'd been telling themselves. That gap is the whole practice.

Neuroscience research suggests people who practise this are happier, more resilient, and better equipped to heal painful memories from the past.

Written by Michelle Directo, RP · Book a consultation

What to Expect in Your First Session

If you've never been to therapy, the unknown can be the hardest part. Here is exactly what happens in the first 60 minutes.

Most people arrive at a first session slightly nervous, and often a little embarrassed about being nervous. Both are common. Here's what actually happens, so there are fewer unknowns.

Before we start

We'll cover confidentiality and its limits: what stays in the room, and the narrow legal exceptions where it can't. You'll know exactly where you stand before you share anything.

The first 20 minutes

Mostly context. What brought you here now rather than a year ago. What you've already tried. What a good outcome would look like.

You don't need this neatly prepared. Many people arrive knowing only that something feels off. That's a perfectly good starting point.

The middle stretch

We follow whatever seems most alive. Sometimes that's the thing you came in for, sometimes something unexpected. You set the pace. Nothing gets pushed before you're ready, and "I don't want to talk about that yet" is a complete and acceptable answer.

The last few minutes

We'll wind down deliberately rather than stopping mid-thought, talk about whether this feels like a fit, and decide together whether to book again.

You're allowed to change your mind

Fit matters more than credentials. If it isn't right, saying so is genuinely fine, and I'll help you find someone who suits you better. No therapist worth seeing will take that personally.

Written by Michelle Directo, RP · Book a consultation